For some children, changing activities is harder than parents expect. Turning off the television, leaving the playground, stopping a favourite game, or moving from playtime to dinner can trigger a surprisingly big reaction.
It can look like stubbornness from the outside, but the actual difficulty may be the mental shift involved in stopping one thing and starting another.
Why Transitions Are Hard:
- Moving attention from one activity to another takes genuine mental effort, particularly when the current activity is highly enjoyable
- Not knowing what is coming next can make some children anxious
- Some children need more time to mentally move away from what they are currently doing
Transition difficulty isn't about stubbornness; it's often a genuine mismatch between how quickly a child's brain can shift gears and how quickly the world expects them to.
What Helps:
- Advance warning. Give reminders such as "five more minutes, then bath time" consistently rather than announcing the change at the last second
- Visual timers, which make the passing of time easier for children to understand
- A short transition activity, such as playing a familiar song during cleanup
- Keep transitions predictable so your child has a general idea of what comes next
A Useful Reframe
Instead of thinking, "he won't listen," it can be more helpful to think, "this transition is genuinely hard for him right now."
That small change in perspective can make it easier for you to stay calm. And when you stay regulated, your child often has an easier time regulating too.
If transitions remain a major daily struggle despite consistent strategies, an occupational therapist can help identify sensory or regulation factors that may be making them particularly difficult.